“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Coming into a new year, no doubt you have, or will entertain the thought of what you need to do personally and professionally to get to where you want to go. Personal and Professional Development is critical as part of a commitment to sustained lifelong learning and growth. The right self-work is what propels us to success in our life.
However, when considering what options you have available to you, just be mindful of the following mistakes people make that result in poor outcomes, change that doesn’t stick, and well… lots of wasted time and money.
Mistake 1 – Superficial Knowledge Is Dangerous
Has this blind alley got your name on it?
The trend in personal development is to have a little knowledge about everything. To tick every box and attend the latest guru course in each area of personal, spiritual, business or professional development.
Then when you don’t find the love of your life right away, quickly double your business or get promoted at work you feed your addiction and run out looking for another quick fix guru.
The hard and bitter solution to this is to “grow up”. There is no quick fix. Everything in life that has value takes time and hard work.
If the work you do on yourself has depth, you will awaken some very deep issues. This is good. It may have the appearance that things are getting worse. But these issues are thankfully coming up so you can clear them. So, you can be free of those aspects of your life that are not in truth.
Only the truth will set you free. Then you will have clarity. You will access deep self -knowledge instead of hyped up confidence that blows away when the storm comes in.
If you use your mind to override and stuff down pain – which is very popular at the moment – then your life will eventually collapse.
“Anything not in truth will eventually collapse” ~ Robert Kirby
The Solution– take your personal submarine on a high integrity deep dive into real freedom. Do one thing at a time very thoroughly before running to the next fix and the next one and so on. You will have to resist quick fixes, but you will thank me enthusiastically five years from now. This is both in business and life.
Mistake 2 – Limitation of Modality Attachment
Never attach yourself to a transformational modality and believe one guru teacher is the solution.
Every teacher or coach is human. They have blind spots. Every modality was created by human beings. So therefore, all modalities have blind spots.
This way of thinking can give you the illusion that you are fixed. That one avenue only holds part of the solution. Here are some examples of modalities that I have mastered and now use together:
- Core Energetics
- NLP and coaching
- Character Analysis
- Family and Business Constellations
- Meditation & Breath Process
- Voice Dialogue
- Group Process Psychodynamics
- Reichian Bodywork
Each one of these modalities is excellent. But if one uses the same one over and over again as a teacher or as a client, then the client’s progress would be limited and eventually plateau.
It’s like going to the gym and doing only squats. Or doing yoga with just one posture. Or going to school and studying only mathematics.
Solution:the professional synergy and synthesis of integrating multiple time tested modalities provides the greatest client and personal or professional development outcomes.
Footnote: If you want to master each modality for your personal or professional use, then learn each one very thoroughly – one at a time until you master it. Then integrate each into your vast knowledge. You then qualify as an awesome servant of humanity.
Mistake 3 – Implement or Die of Embarrassment
A slow personal death is to replace self-help with shelf-help. So many people today are rushing around from courses to trainings, books and coaches to healers without implementing what they have learned. They become superficial self-help junkies who are reliant on outside forces to pull their life together.
Down the road things fall apart and they feel like giving up. They only took away bits and pieces of what they learned. The old expression “jack of all trades master of none” applies here.
Footnote: If you have not implemented what you learned into your life and business then you have not actually learned it. If you cannot teach what you learned to another, then you have not really learned it.
We are in danger of becoming recyclers of superficial crap that only works until the next superficial trend appears. Quick fixes for your business or relationships is really self-deception.
That’s why 80% of the offers you see on social media are all beginning to look the same. So, the public is confused as to what is authentic versus what is being recycled. The reason it all looks the same is because those publishing the offers are confused too and copying trends that work for the moment.
They have no depth of knowledge and want to sell a quick fix to those seeking a quick fix.
Solution:become a seeker of truth at all costs. Learn one thing at a time from an expert and implement it immediately into your life or business before going on to the next teacher. Commit 100% to having integrity and having everyone’s best interest at heart. This will come back to you again and again for the rest of your life.
In summary nothing is more important than your evolution in this life. That’s what you were born to do. Learn everything you desire in great depth from an expert in their field and implement it into your life immediately before going onto the next learning.
Once you have mastered it you can synergistically combine what you learn from the next teacher and the next without rushing or superficially deceiving yourself or others that you know the material in great depth.
Your integrity and self-esteem will go through the ceiling and so will your life.